Today I was hit with extreme sadness over the sacrifices I am making with being sick. Justin and I had to end our lease of our adorable NW Reno house and start moving out this weekend. Financially it did not make sense to keep a house that only he was living in. Now we are one of those couples who had to move in with our parents. I always judged couples that moved back in with family and now we are one of them.
Sometimes, in a selfish way, I think about how much I am getting punished on top of my body being so sick. Why did I have to get sick? Why couldn't my treatment be easier on my body so I could work and bring in income? Why is this treatment so long and hard? What did I do to deserve this?
Easter is just around the corner and I am reminded of Jesus rising from the dead and proving that he was man and God in one. When He was brutally beaten and died on the cross He said it was for all sin everywhere in the world. Jesus will come back again and remove all sin everywhere, but until then sin can only be forgiven by accepting Him and repenting of our evilness.
Everyone always questions, 'why do bad things happen to good people?' The answer I believe is because sin is present in this world and it caused genes to mutate, people to fall short and hurt one-an-other, disasters to occur, diseases to exist and pain to hurt all of us. In a sense, me being sick is me bearing the fact that sin exists in our world. My sickness includes all of the sacrifices I have to make and the pain I am experiencing. One day, I will be pain free and that is the day I go to heaven. Even if I am able to win this battle against Lyme disease I will still experience loss and pain as more evidences of sin in our world.
Being sick and going through treatment is so humbling and makes one thing for sure...I have hope.