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July 29, 2011

Here Goes Nothing - It's Procedure Day

Today, I am freaking out a bit.  I have a strange bump on my back that I am having removed today.  The reason I share this, is this "bump" is the epicenter to all my pain on my back.  All the pain radiates from this one spot.  About eight years ago, before my family understood my pain on my back, my mom was convinced it was a blackhead.  She pinned me on the ground and tried to squeeze it out.  I screamed bloody murder and cried for a long time.  That awful day is a lasting memory for us but it confirmed that my pain was not typical. Yesterday, my mom described what she saw on that day come out of the bump as a thick hair or a nerve.

Fast forward to this month when we saw my specialist...Dr. Harris took a look when he heard about the bump and said "let's cut it out!" He thinks it could be the tick head still in my skin! Ew!

So today, I am going to a dermatologist to have this potential tick head removed from my back.  I would probably be nervous if a dermatologist was removing something on another part of my body, but this is my the most sensitive part of my back! :(

Some of my family members have a theory that once this tiny foreign object is removed that all the pain in my back will magically go away.  I disagree, but that would be pretty cool.

Prayers are welcome today. Thanks friends.

7:00pm So I had my procedure today and it went well. My dad took me to the doctor and helped keep me laughing up until the procedure so I couldn't stress too much.  The staff at Sierra Skin Institute was very kind and they took good care of me.  They numbed my skin and then punched out an 8mm cylinder (about the size of a new eraser on a pencil).  When the numbing stuff wore off it started to be very painful, but at least it's over. It took four stitches and I have 1-2 weeks until I know the results of my biopsy from the lab.  Thanks for the prayers.

July 27, 2011


Nausea seems to be my biggest symptom lately and it is one of the hardest symptoms to manage.  The moments that I am not nauseous are few and far between.  Most of my medications cause nausea so I am on a lot of anti-nausea medication to try and control the horrible feeling.  In addition to the side effects of my pills, when the lyme die and the parasites die they produce a die off gas which makes me feel awful causing me to be nauseous.  Nausea is also caused by dehydration, which my body is prone to.  It is a vicious cycle to manage.  Bleh!

Sometimes the only way to get through it is to hook up to a hydration bag and take some medicine and go to sleep. Needless to say, I have been sleeping a lot    :(

Doctor's Order for Disneyland

I am a little behind on updating my here it goes.  

I saw my doctor in Redwood City and learned that my Lymphatic system was backed up.  Dr. Harris touched specific lymph nodes all over my body and it was very painful. I think the lymphatic system is responsible for removing old cells from the body and other waste.  The doctor also noted that my eyes were yellow as a side effect of one medicine.  He ordered that I work very hard on unblocking this channel in my body by putting myself with big vibrating motions like roller coasters and car rides on dirt roads. He also gave me some new medications to help.  

I left the appointment on a mission and decided to go to Disneyland to hit some roller coasters and take a break from my normal routine.  My husband and I have season passes so it was fairly inexpensive to travel down to L.A. and spend a few days in Disneyland trying to clear out my lymph system.  We just celebrated our third wedding anniversary within days of the appointment which was perfect timing for the doctor to order me to do roller coasters! 

The trip was not what I thought it would be.  My body was much sicker than I hoped during the trip.  I was able to spend about three hours in the park and then needed to go back to the hotel room to rest.  Then I could go back for a little while longer later in the day. I spent my time in the park in a wheelchair, but we made the most of it.  Justin knows Disneyland and California Adventure like the back of this hand so he took me to places with uneven ground so the wheelchair would vibrate to try and hopefully clear out my lymph nodes. I felt like a little kid searching out the bumpy sidewalk!  I battled horrible nausea the entire time so roller coasters were NOT what I wanted to do.  I ended up only being able to do one over the four days we were there. Instead of rides, Justin and I enjoyed the food, people watching and time together.

Overall, it was nice to get away, but the trip was very telling of how sick my body still is.  I have motivation to get better so I can enjoy Disneyland to the fullest next time.  My family is going over Christmas, so I have a goal to be much stronger by that trip :)

July 10, 2011

In Sickness and in Health

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of attending a life long friends wedding.  The ceremony was beautiful, the decorations were great, the speeches made me cry and everyone was joyously excited to celebrate Ashley and Steve.  I enjoyed myself as much as I could and then my nausea dominated and I had to leave early.  This wedding really got me thinking about my own anniversary (which is tomorrow) and how grateful I am to have married the man that I did three years ago.  When we, as humans, say our vows, I think there is a part of each of us who skim over the "in sickness" part...hoping it will never come true.

I am so extremely blessed to have a husband who honors that vow each and every day.  Already this morning he reminded me to take my medicine, brought me breakfast in bed, hooked me up to IV fluids, gently reminded me that I had my days mixed up and today was Sunday.  Now he is in the shower so he can run to the store and pick up more of my medicine.  He encourages me to do what I can and helps me for the things I am unable to do.

For those of my friends who are married, I hope you will take a moment and tell your spouse that you will love them exponentially if sickness enters your marriage...and for those of you who are not married I hope you seek out someone that you can love deeply when they are sick...In return, I pray they treat you the same way.  But above all, I pray that if any illness enters your marriage it will bring you closer together.

Happy anniversary, Justin. Thank you for honoring your vows and loving me through this time. I love you more than you know.

July 1, 2011

Torture Chamber

Last year a doctor recommended I start doing massages twice each month and because my doctor wrote an order for it, my massages were covered by insurance.  I know right now you are probably thinking "lucky!" but that is the last thing I think!  There is a reason I titled this blog "Torture Chamber".  Massages to me are a discipline because I have to let someone touch me in all my most sensitive areas, like my back. My first massage was quite an experience...I spent fifty minutes on the massage table flopping like a fish every time the therapist moved her hand.  Since then I have noticed improvements.  Massages are still painful, but the therapy is working in addition to my medications and the rest of my treatment.

I went to my massage place yesterday and had a new therapist do my massage. I have been bad at following the twice each month order, but yesterday I had interesting results.  The massage was fairly standard, the therapist was nice, my back twitched a few times and we talked about my disease.  After the massage I felt totally fine, but about four hours later I was hit with a ton of bricks.  I was all of a sudden freezing cold, emotionally and physically body needed sleep.  I slept for two hours and woke up soaking wet in sweat.  I was ready to go back to bed when I woke up but I was starving.  I knew my body was doing some awesome detoxing!  The rest of the night was more of the same.  

I am so happy to report that today the surface area of my back sensitivity has shrunk again! I have a long way to go to being pain free on my back BUT I know it is working.  I have never had such positive outcomes after "torture chamber"  ;)