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January 10, 2012

A Glimmer of Hope from My Day On the Ranch

This weekend I reconnected with one of my longest known friends, Kristi.  She invited me to come to her house and go horseback riding because I have been dying to ride for the last couple of weeks.  I arrived at her house and immediately was out standing just watching her take care of each of the majestic animals.  Ever since I was a little girl, I have always loved horses, so this was very fun for me.

After a little while I was riding a horse with so much personality named Ozwald!  It was so wonderful catching up with Kristi while I rode and also just being on-top of Ozwald and enjoying the sunshine.  My lymph system still needs to be kicked into gear, so I thought the jarring from riding could only help. I was grinning from ear to ear the entire day.

I saw a glimmer of what my life could be like when I beat this disease. I had moments of clarity and lots of laughter and for the most part, I did not feel sick at all. I felt free! When I got home later that night, I made a phone call to my mom and told her all about my day. By the end of the phone call I was crying and told her, "Mom, I don't want this great day to end because if I go to sleep then I when I wake up I will be sick again."

She gave me the best response that helped me to calm down, she said, "I know, Sweetie, but you can't live in fear."

So I am not living in fear of this illness, instead I celebrate the wonderful day I had with Kristi and Ozwald!

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