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February 24, 2012

Pulling the Cord and Hoping the Parachute Saves Me

Well I have a lot of changes going on right now. Justin and I have decided it is the right time to move out of my parents house and move into a place on our own.  Fortunately, we have Justin's parents living in the same complex as us so I will still have extra people around when needed.  Our new place is in downtown Reno and we are SO exciting that I am feeling confident in my health to make this move.  It is a scary but exciting time.  Here are all the changes going on with me right now. Please pray that this transition is a positive and healthy one.

1. New daily IV antibiotic treatment(today)
2. IV nutrients (in the next few days)
3. Moving (today through the if anyone wants to help we could use it!)
4. Still adjusting to my port
5. Getting Diego back!! I'm a full time doggy mom again to him :)
6. Starting Ayurveda treatment to compliment my current treatment
7. Preparing way more of my own meals and keeping our new place clean...with more independence comes more responsibility
8. Finding a new small group
9. Starting exercise at the gym in my building

Any one of these handful of changes could have caused a tailspin in the past, but I am very positive to embrace it all at one time and do my best.  I have jumped out of a plane and am pulling the cord hoping the parachute works.

My attitude is really good and I am excited to be more independent. My good days are good, but my bad days are so bad. I do have some fears about the new IV antibiotic and how I will feel with it. I was reminded last night by my step-sister, Brooke, that even if I face-plant into the earth, I still have a great support to pick me up, dust me off and get me back on my feet.  Also, my husband is the best man on Earth, I mean he's no Jesus, but he is AMAZING. I know with him by my side I will do great.

To my support network, please check in on me often, I love having visitors, help me to embrace all these changes and get used to my new life here in downtown Reno.

February 1, 2012

Port Surgery Scheduled for Monday

Today I met with a wonderful Vascular Surgeon and learned the time has come to put in a port so I can continue with my IV medications.  I have had seven picclines since December 2010.

The port is a little scary because it is placed so close to my heart, but it is the best option for me to continue my treatment.  As I prepare for this surgery on Monday, this song by Jon Foreman has been playing as the soundtrack to my life and my current prayer.

On one hand I know this procedure is fairly safe and simple, but on the other hand I think that my life continues as my heart continues to beat so I am a little scared to do any procedure that comes close to it.

Have mercy on me, oh God
According to Your unfailing love
According to Your great compassion
Blot out my transgressions

Create in me a clean heart, oh God
Restore in me the joy of Your salvation

The sacrifices of our God are a broken and a contrite heart
Against You and You alone have I sinned

Would You create in me a clean heart, oh God
Restore in me the joy of my salvation

Wash me white as snow
And I will be made whole
Wash me white as snow
And I will be made whole